How to Begin (and stick to) a Mindfulness Practice
As the pandemic continues, many people are looking for ways to improve their mental health. Meditation is one of the most beneficial (and free!) practices we can incorporate into our daily life to find presence, peace and awareness. The benefits of a regular meditation practice include enhanced self-awareness, reduced anxiety, increased attention span and more. For many yogis, a meditation practice is a part of the eight limbed (ashtanga) path. This blog post is not an exhaustive list of all the ways to meditate. This post is meant to help anyone begin a meditation practice. If you are looking for the specifics of the meditation of Patanjali’s eight limbed path, you can read about it here.
There are many interpretations of the definition of meditation. My basic definition of meditation is the practice of (learning to) concentrating on something to become present. I underline “practice” because meditation literally is a practice. Just like yoga or a sport, we have to continue showing up to notice long-lasting changes in our mind and our Self. Of course, outside factors will impact the quality of your daily practice, such as what time of day we meditate, distractions around us (cue kid or animal playtime), how long we are able to sit, what is happening in our life, etc. It requires time, dedication and patience to cultivate a powerful daily meditation practice.
I also place “learning to” in parenthesis because most of us literally have to learn how to concentrate on one thing to keep the thoughts at bay. We may think we can just stop, drop and meditate; however, the majority of us will struggle with hitting the “pause” button on everything else while we practice. We live in a society that encourages us to be attracted to all the new things, to constantly be busy or productive and to be connected to our devices. It takes time and patience to allow ourself to let go of the outside world and turn inward. Learning to quiet our mind is a freedom that we all can develop the skills to obtain without spending $.01.
There is a period of trial and error to figure out what aligns with your Self. It took me years to create a regular meditation practice and, in a way, I am still learning about myself. There are days where everything melts away, and there are days where the weight of the world feels heavy. There are days where rolling out of bed to meditate is a chore and others where it is a blessing. Giving your Self grace and find gratitude each time you meditate; this is key to sustaining the practice.
Here are suggestions for how to begin a meditation practice
Start slow! Most of us need time to ease into a meditation practice. Starting off on your mat for an hour can turn you off to the practice quickly! My suggestion is begin with 3-5 minutes for a while. When you feel ready for more, then begin to add time to the clock. Remember: baby steps are still steps forward.
Establish a routine! To have a long lasting and fulfilling meditation practice, you need to carve time out each day to practice. This should be the same time every day to create consistency. I personally meditate first thing in the morning right when I wake up. I roll out of bed, set a timer on my phone and dive in. No checking e-mail, no checking text messages, no letting my cats in the bedroom. Just me and my practice.
Keep track of your journey! Sometimes recording our journey encourages us to show up. I record how long I mediated for and also write how I felt during/after practice. It is enjoyable to reflect on the past happenings in the mind.
Find a regular space (away from distractions)! Find a regular space to enjoy your practice. It should be away from people, animals, technology and everything else – especially as you begin your practice. Not every day is distraction-free (hello Frodo crying loudly and jumping in my lap!) but with time and practice, those distractions become less agitating. The important thing is to make it a routine to remove distractions. (You can use your cell phone to set a time if need-be. Other than that, no checking phones or iWatches).
Have physical support! Use blankets, pillows, yoga mats, etc. under your sit-bones to support you. Move to a wall or use a chair with a back if you tend to round your spine or need spinal support.
Like yoga poses, sitting meditation should not cause physical pain! Some researchers equate meditation to a sport. It is a mental sport, not a physical sport! If you feel pain or extreme discomfort, stop, adjust and/or grab more props (see above for suggestions).
How to meditate:
Sit down! Sit on the ground or in a chair using props as mentioned above. It is okay to rotate between the two seated variations (based on injuries, pain etc.) but avoid switching during an individual session.
Choose your leg position! Legs can be crossed or extended if on the ground. Legs can be crossed or knees bent-feet planted if in a chair or on the couch. Every body is different. Listen to what your body needs to reduce discomfort and fidgeting.
Set your timer! (if you are timing your practice) I like to add an extra 30 seconds- 1 minute to account for the following step. Make sure you turn your phone on silent and turn the screen face-down. That way, any alerts that come through are paused.
Prepare! Get the wiggles out! Decide if you need to adjust and do it now. Then root down into your seat, grow tall in your spine and close your eyes. Relax tension in the shoulder with a few shoulder rolls.
Take several deep breaths! Breathe in the nose and out the mouth, then return to your natural breath. Let go of whatever happened in your day so far. This is your time for you.
Find something to focus on – aka an object! This will help you be present during your practice. Focus your attention on one “object” per session. If the object is distraction or does not connect to you, try focusing on a different object next time. The object is very subjective; not everyone meditates on the same object. It will take time to figure out what you should focus on. Some “object” suggestions are:
The sounds around you (the clicking heater, the cars whooshing by or a sound machine)
Noticing the natural breath passing in and out of your nose
A calming visual in your mind (like water running from a fountain)
A portion of your body (like the third eye, naval, heart), or
A mantra (words or phrases repeated over in the mind, such as “be here now,” “om,” etc.).
When you wander away, come back kindly! It is HARD to concentrate on an object without other thoughts whizzing in and out of the mind. If your mind wanders away from the object you selected, then gently bring your attention back to the present.
Times up! When your alarm goes off, slowly re-awaken. Take a scan of your body, a few rounds of breath in and and out and notice how you feel. Then slowly open your eyes, stretch and go about your day. If you are keeping track of your practice, write down how long your session was and how you feel.
Gentle reminders:
Make yourself as comfortable as possible to reduce the wiggles! One of the important parts of meditation is to find stillness. If you are fidgeting, you probably are not present! Figure out what you need to make yourself comfortable (closing doors, adding support under sit-bones, shutting off lights, etc.). It is okay to rotate the top leg if you are on the ground (especially if the leg becomes numb). But, the less movement you make the more space you create to be present.
Check in with your spine! We tend to round the spine throughout practice. Keep gently lengthening out your spine as you sit. If the spine rounding is causing pain or is distracting, move yourself to a wall or use a chair with a backing. Like I said above, sitting in meditation (like yoga) should not be painful!
Give yourself grace! It may take a while to figure out what object is best for you. I started off by focusing on the visual of a fountain, then tried the sound of my noise machine and now focus on my third eye. Sometimes if my mind is very busy, I focus on the sound of the noise machine running, which reminds me to bring awareness to my third eye, which helps me feel very present. It’s a challenging process, but the growing pains of experimentation are worth it!
Really – give yourself grace! It’s okay if you struggle to be present. It’s okay if you lose focus on the object. It’s okay if you kept thinking about the endless “to-do” list. That is why I called meditation a “practice!” Time, patience, persistence, grace and gratitude will help create a long-lasting, impactful meditation practice.
Keep showing up! This is how you incorporate meditation into your daily routine and feel the positive benefits that come from a sustained practice.
Enjoy! Over time, you will see the benefits of a daily meditation practice! This is also a journey inward to learn more about your Self. Self-discovery is a beautiful process.
Would love to hear your experiences with mediation! If you are searching for more personal guidance, I do offer private sessions. Either send me an e-mail at kim.r.siegel@gmail.com or go to the “Contact Me” page to connect!